On Monday British badminton’s leading women’s singles player Kirsty Gilmour received confirmation that she would no longer receive support from UK Sport. Yesterday the Commonwealth Games and European Championship silver medallist returned to international competition for the first time since the Olympics in Rio.

Here she reflects on what has been an emotional roller-coaster of a week and how she intends to continue to pursue her dreams, with a little help from her friends in the Scottish badminton and sporting communities.

--

It’s difficult for me to articulate all the feelings I have had in the last week.

On the one hand I feel frustration and disappointment that badminton lost its appeal against UK Sport’s decision to cut all funding for the next Olympic cycle. For me this means losing my steady income that allows me to completely invest myself in training, and a full tournament programme which is necessary to build up points in order to compete in an Olympic Games.

On the other hand however, Badminton Scotland announced yesterday that the World Championships this coming August will be available to view live (I know, right! Live!) on the BBC. This is monumental. This is what the sport deserves. So you can understand the mixed emotions that are currently swirling around.

I promised myself I would keep this positive but I think it’s important to say that sport is many things.

The vast majority of the population engage with it as a way to keep fit and perhaps forge friendships. Then as we delve deeper and add a competitive element, sport becomes a way to set goals, improve communication, teamwork, self-reliance, problem-solving and a whole host of other meaningful skills.

When the competitive facet is embraced past the typical, this is where sport turns from hobby to career. This is where you will find me.

This doesn’t just apply to badminton of course. This is all sports. The very top, elite, world class level does not function without the 6 year old kids picking up a racket or kicking a ball

for the first time. And vice versa. Without Olympic and Paralympic heroes and heroines, aspirations and role models cannot be viewed, doe-eyed, by beginners across the nation with the hope that one day that will be them. One does not function without the other. It is a constant cycle that requires perpetual review and revision in order to make the next wave bigger, better and stronger. So with this recent hit to the sport I hope the badminton community, small though we are, can come together, continue the cycle and come out the other side stronger.

On a personal level, I now have to channel some energy into finding income elsewhere but I will stick as closely as possible to my previously planned journey to the 2018 Gold Coast Commonwealth Games and the 2020 Tokyo Olympic Games. There will be a bit of fat-trimming and more strategic choices here and there but with the help of Badminton Scotland and Sport Scotland I still have my sights firmly set on my goals which include getting my ranking up again after dropping from 15 in the world to 54 while I was out injured.

Yesterday, I won my first match in international competition here at the Austrian Open since Rio. After getting back into action at the Yonex Scottish National Championships earlier this month and winning the singles and mixed doubles titles, this was always going to be a step up and I’m satisfied with the way the opening round went, beating Sweden’s Sofie Holmboe Dahl in straight sets.

I felt a little bit rusty and she made it pretty tough, pulling it back to 9-9 in the opening game after I had led 9-4 and getting it back to 16-14 in the second after I had led 15-8, but I was glad with the way I responded and getting this first win has tipped my emotional balance to happy. I’m choosing to deal with everything that is happening by focussing on the small things and taking them step by step. One shot leads to a rally which leads to a game which turns into a match and so on.

This is all helped by the fact that I have started working with a new coach, Tat Meng Wong which requires a lot of figuring each other out. So it’s baby steps for now, but those baby steps are always moving forward.