IT’S not easy being modest. Some people, let’s be objective and call them pig-ignorant little people, often mistake it for cowardice.
Take the SNP’s modest proposals on council tax reform. Not so long ago, when it had yet to learn the merits of inertia, the party wanted to “scrap the unfair council tax”.
As Labour’s Kezia Dugdale reminded Nicola Sturgeon at FMQs, the FM herself said the “hated council tax is totally unfair, and any tinkering with bands would not make it any fairer.”
Whoa! said the FM’s face. That was back in the krazy daze of 2008. Immodesty stalked the land. You had to be there. It was like a fever, man. It was totes malarial.
Now, after nine years in power, it turns out tinkering is all the rage.
Ahead of a vote on how little tinkering was possible, the FM was modesty personified.
“Our proposals are reasonable, balanced and progressive,” she whispered. “Modest reform of the council tax and modest increases for housing in the highest council tax bands.”
Not only that, the SNP had a mandate to do next to nothing, as that was in the manifesto.
So Labour had better not vote with the Tories to stop it, she muttered darkly.
“The FM seems to have forgotten she lost her majority in May,” replied Ms Dugdale.
At which the Nat benches almost collapsed under the weight of accumulated hooting.
Lost a majority? Didn’t she lose an entire party?
“I know, I know,” Ms Dugdale persisted “Wait a wee minute. In 2011, the FM won a majority with a promise to scrap the council tax. It seems she has a mandate only when it suits her. This proposal is not big enough and it is not bold enough.”
At the B-word, Ms Sturgeon shrank behind a fluttering fan and tried not to faint.
Tory Ruth Davidson learned the dangers of boldness the hard way, as she tried to segue from the threat of high taxes to the threat of a second referendum and “constitutional uncertainty”.
Ms Sturgeon gawped. “I start to wonder whether Ruth Davidson is my secret FMQs agent. This is the day when her party’s position has just been overturned in the courts. For her to come and talk about constitutional uncertainty is, to be frank, beyond words.”
Ms Davidson’s agonised squirming equally defied description.
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