The wrong Greek

THE 200th anniversary this year of the birth of renowned Glasgow architect Alexander “Greek” Thomson reminds us of the Scottish tabloid newspaper reporting on the death of Glasgow gangster Arthur Thompson. The sub-editor working on the story, presumably a fan of Damon Runyon, thought he recalled the deceased thug’s nickname and referred to him through the story as Arthur “The Greek” Thompson.

Not so sage

THE little challenges of being married. Says reader James McGovern: “My wife planted a few shrubs of herbs in our wee back garden last summer. A couple of days ago she said, ‘Could you nip out and cut some parsley for me, please?’ Displaying my ignorance of such Jamie Oliver-type knowledge I said, ‘How will I know which one is parsley?’ Norma replied, ‘It’s the one to the right of the mint’.”

Porter house rules

OUR tales of the old Western Infirmary in Glasgow remind retired surgeon David Knight: “They brought back fond memories of when I was a junior house officer there in 1975. A standout was the casualty porters who carried out triage years before this was introduced formally by A&E trained nurses.

“When a punter presented at the porters’ window, the porter would allocate them to an appropriate speciality thus: arms and legs = orthopaedics, naughty bits = gynaecology (female) urology (male), stomach = surgical, everything else = medical.

“I don’t recall them ever getting it wrong.”

Season to be cheerful

A WEST end pub put up a notice this week apologising for being shut one evening as staff were going for their Christmas night out. “My goodness,” said a regular to the staff, “the Christmas celebrations are getting earlier and earlier.”

Cold wet blanket

BIT of snow yesterday. As Moose Allain mused: “I remember the first time my boys saw snow. Rushing out into the garden, such joy, elation, ‘Snow! Snow!’ “Grabbing up handfuls of the stuff, then no more than a minute later running back towards the house in tears, holding out tiny frozen paws.

“The moral of that story is: don’t enjoy anything.”

Trollied

GETTING old continued. A reader in Partick tells us: “I’m actually looking forward to being at that age where no one stops you if you take a supermarket trolley all the way home.”

You’ve been framed

WE hear that Glasgow music bar MacSorley’s is closing for a £250,000 refit this month. Previous owner Paul Crawford once told us about a zimmer frame left in the disabled toilet and he added: “How someone can enter the toilet with the use of a zimmer, then exit unaided, surely only points to one thing.

“We’ll have to rename the toilet Lourdes.”

Reelin’ in the years

A COLLEAGUE comes over and looks as though he has something important to tell us. “Just won the ‘Pupil of the Year’ prize at the Scottish Country Dancing contest.

“Still reeling.”