Home truth, Mrs Malaprop
OUR mention of TV’s University Challenge reminds Eric Flack in Drumchapel: “Many years ago I went with my mother to a recording in Glasgow as a relative was a ‘reserve’ and we had two passes. The BBC floor crew were fussing about telling the audience the dos and dont’s of filming when my mother got excited at recognising someone and exclaimed, ‘There’s that Bastard Gargoyne!’
“The floor crew person beside her muttered, ‘Yes he can be’.”

A bit flakey
THE Herald reported yesterday that we can expect “thundersnow” by the weekend. Reader Oonagh imagines the conversation in the Met Office. “It’s going to snow.” “More dramatic.” “It’s going to snow a lot.” “Ramp it up” “There’ll be Thundersnow!” “Now you’re talking!”

Backhanded compliment
WE reported on plans to demolish much of the Western Infirmary to make way for Glasgow University expansion plans, and Peter Jensen in Skipness recalls: “Years ago, when I presented at the Western with an upper lip sliced through to the bone by a squash opponent’s careless backhand, blood pouring down me, two fingers attempting in vain to keep my face together, the reception porter, who was the forerunner of a triage nurse, looked me in the eye and asked me what seemed to be the trouble.”

Legged it home
AND our tale of Bobby Lennox being in the Western with a broken leg after an encounter with John Greig reminds Robin Gilmour: “Was it not in The Diary many years ago that John Greig arrived home with a broken leg and his wife said: ‘Whose is it?’”

A funny thing happened ...
THE great and the good of the British arts scene gathered in London for the Creative Industries Federation party where Tory Minister Greg Clark ended his speech by asking the audience’s permission to “quote a lyric from the great American writer Stephen Sondheim”. He then stated from the song Old Friends “Here’s to us. Who’s like us? Damn few.”
Next speaker was Scottish Culture Minister Fiona Hyslop, who disappointed Scots in the audience by not telling Mr Clark that it was in fact an old Scottish toast. Our contact chomping the canapes tells us it was unclear whether Ms Hyslop was being polite or if she just hadn’t bothered listening.

A dog’s life
A BEARSDEN reader emails us: “I was so distracted in the kitchen at the weekend that I asked my dog to hand me something. To be fair, he gave me the same blank stare my children would have.”

Keeping it in the family
THE latest Trump news from America is that he has appointed his son-in-law Jared Kushner as a White House senior adviser. As Glenn Moore comments: “By hiring his son-in-law, Trump’s probably the first man in history to take on a new job in order to spend more time with his family.”

On the run
WE pass on the latest news on social media from Levenmouth Police in Fife who declare: “Cells at the weekend are like the gym in January - foo’ to the gunnels.”

Lollipop logic
I DIDN’T know whether to laugh or cry when a colleague came over and told me: “If councils are strapped for cash, can they not save money on lollipop men and ladies, and improve kids’ safety, by simply building schools on 
the other side of the road?”