Waltzing past Matilda
BROADCASTER Tony Currie tells us: “My son Leo passed me this gem from his train journey into Glasgow this morning when the driver announced, ‘Passengers who just boarded at Fort Matilda, please note, I wasn’t supposed to stop there, so this may not be the train you think it is’.”
Training the protesters
TALKING of trains, unions staged a rally at Glasgow Central Station yesterday in a campaign to have the railways renationalised because of poor service. One shop steward sent the rail union TSSA a message on social media just before the rally began, stating: “On my way into Glasgow to take part in this protest, and the 15.30 from Cambuslang has been cancelled.”
Getting heated
GROWING old continued. A reader tells us: “I got a new central heating boiler fitted with a remote control to set the temperature. I was fiddling about with the control, getting more and more agitated as I couldn’t work it properly when my son told me to leave it, and he would set it.
“Changed days from when it was me telling the children to leave the thermostat alone.”
The bald truth
FORMER Tory Minister Iain Duncan Smith told the BBC’s Today programme yesterday the Government’s objective in the Brexit negotiations was to leave the European Union. Glad he cleared that up.
We cannot forget our colleague David Leask telling us: “The only time I saw IDS in Glasgow, a lass with a bald wean yelled, ‘Oi Tory boy! See the last time you were here!’ and pointed in her pram.”
No class
WHAT’S happening in Glasgow’s pretentious west end, we wonder. Writer Deedee Cuddihy informs us: “Was in the Byres Road branch of Waitrose on Monday, and overheard a member of staff tell another that one of her first customers of the New Year was a woman who complained to her,
‘I liked Waitrose when it was middle class – but it isn’t any more’.
“There’s not much you can say to that.”
Famous remark
A BEARSDEN reader on the bus into Glasgow heard two young people discussing the new series of Celebrity Big Brother on the telly, with one opining that there were not that many celebrities actually taking part in
the programme. “To be fair,” said her pal, “maybe there’s not that many left after so many died last year.”
Bit of a wheeze
GOOD to see so many folk out exercising in the New Year. A young reader in Partick says she watched an overweight chap slowly jogging towards her accompanied by a fitter partner who told him as they passed her: “If you puffed any more that girl would think you were a pervert.”
Sphere of influence
A LENZIE reader emails to say: “I did not see many kids out playing with new footballs after Christmas. My mother always remembered a mate of mine coming to the door and asking if I was coming out to play when I was a youngster. When she said I had a cold and was staying in, he asked if my football could come out to play.”
A stiff reply
OUR tale about donating your body to medical science reminds Ian Barnett:
“I recall a one liner from the late Tommy Cooper. ‘I’ve willed my body
to medical science – but medical science are contesting the will’.”
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